I’m currently an RPN aspiring to become an RN. I always knew I wanted to work in health care but was unsure of what I wanted to do in the field. I applied to the nursing programs and had decided to take the RPN stream knowing I’m a hands on learner and being unsure if nursing was for me. I had my fair share of struggles in school and often questioned if the hard ships were signs telling me to quit while I was ahead. I pushed through after almost being exempt from the program for a grade mix up and delayed testing due to my files being lost??? The second I passed my CPRNE i had started applying for nursing jobs. I applied to a hospital an hour away from home which was super out of my comfort zone. I was hired onto the float team and on my first day ended up having two panic attacks. I made it through the shift and pushed myself to attend the second in a DDNN line. The new hospital, new responsibilities, EVEN THE NEW POC MACHINE was so overwhelming to me that I had called into my remaining shifts. This pattern continued on for three rotations before I reached out for help. My manager was excellent and had gave me a small LOA to collect myself and built me a line that would gradually build up to the full DDNN. This had a huge success rate and I was quickly running around the hospital asking and learning new things every shift! Months later I ended up getting sick and needing another leave. My work was accommodating but I felt like a failure, I felt like I couldn’t handle the career I choose and that worried me. On my leave I had decided to pick up another job closer to home. It was a clinic job that I worked on my days off from the hospital. This job reminded me of why I loved nursing. At the clinic I felt like I could make a difference in someone’s day, whether that was listening to their story, teaching them how to journal or sharing my juice box. The girls at this job were difficult to work with and I always felt like they didn’t like my presence. I weighed out the pros and cons and realized if I was so bored I could pick up over time at my first job on my days off and would quit the job that made me begin to feel so uneasy. I understand that everywhere you work you’ll run into people who are hard to work with and I wish in the future, healthcare workers will be nicer to their new nurses. until then I’ll stick to the float team. Working for two years now as a RPN I have decided I love the job and work I do enough to finally further my career and get my RN! I hope to apply and be accepted for 2025 so wish me luck because I have so many plans :)